America‘s got talent future superstar!!!!!
Feb 12, 2019
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QSLeKndi39g

[Music]
good morning you guys and welcome to
Monday yes we are at our new week I am
just getting home from my counseling I
am sorry I didn't check in with you guys
sooner but my hubby has my um little
magnet I need to get another one because
he likes to use it on his phone too so
when he's like using like GPS and things
like that
he likes to hook his phone up to it so I
didn't know that for me we're fine he's
told me multiple times get a mag man I
always forget so I need to get a magnet
but anyways I just wanted to check in
and say good morning to everybody and I
hope everybody's having a wonderful
start to you guys this Monday here it is
so nasty and rainy out thank god there's
no snow I am okay with that
I can dill I can honestly deal with rain
I can't deal with snow like that's just
uh no go huh
now go but it's it's really really wet
nasty out but I just got back from
counseling it was such an amazing
session we just talked about so much but
I think one of the biggest things that
we talked about was taking taking
different conversations
and owning them like for instance having
a conversation with somebody and
somebody sharing their personal you know
life and business and you know and
things like that it it really you know
sometimes I find myself thank you baby
mmm show you guys what I got for
breakfast but you know when somebody
talks to like just say for instance
talks to me about like personal things
knowing that I can be the ear to hear
but I don't have to take the problem on
is it's a big thing to me because I
always feel like I have to fix
everybody's problems that come to me and
I know that that's I can't it's not
feasible I can't do that but what I can
do is definitely be that ear to hear and
listen but I don't have to fix and
that's like a big thing so yeah that was
what our session was about today and it
was just it felt really good um I talked
to her about a little bit about my
eating she's not my nutritionist so we
don't really discuss too much about per
se the eating disorders and things like
that but I did talk to her today about
like how I've noticed that I've been
eating I've been eating kind of
carelessly like and when I say
carelessly I mean it as in I've been
eating without I haven't been binging
but I haven't been very cautious I
should say and that can be kind of scary
at times because it's like you know I
have to be very cautious at times you
know and I have to use my antlers
antlers my antennas to make sure that
you know when I'm eating that I'm eating
for the right reasons and you know you
don't have to beat yourself up when it
comes to eating you know you can eat
but when you eat making sure that you're
not eating for a binging is what's most
important and I can honestly say that I
have avenged for a while but this week
this last week I ate very um trying to
be the word that I'm trying to think of
I just I more or less I have eaten
without care versus you know eating and
being acknowledged every time I'm eating
I just am eating and you know that could
be that could be good
but that could also be dangerous and I
don't want it to be dangerous I want it
to be good so anywho yes I did have a
good session now I am gonna check in
with messages really quick and reply
back to some of you guys while I sit
here and eat my breakfast and then I'll
check in with you guys in a little bit
Oh oh my gosh you guys it's freezing
crazy um I am on my way to Walmart so
nasty here like it's like that weather
that you just want to like curl up and
go to sleep and watch scary movies and
do all the the relaxing things but I
still got time for that out I'm gonna go
to Walmart because I am gonna go
and start getting my equipment that I'm
gonna need for when my Turner table
comes from well I ordered it from Amazon
no no no I ordered it from Etsy so they
said that it could take anywhere from
three to five days if you don't know
what I'm talking about because some
might be like Amy this is like how big
is it so I bought a tumbler turner which
is because I am going to and I'll insert
a couple pictures here I do just want to
disclose that these are not my actual
product these are just ideas of things
that I will be able to do once I start
doing them but these are not my actual
cups that I've made myself
[Music]
those are what I'm gonna start making
and so so also it's limited but
with that clearly you've got to have the
right equipment to do it so I am gonna
go because my Turner should be here I
would think by the end of this week and
I want to start getting right into it
and so I went ahead and I am going to go
ahead and do that go and purchase all
the support I need like glitter and
you don't know the fun stuff so I'm
gonna go ahead and do that I'm gonna buy
a couple of tumblers I think if I can
point them there if not I don't know
Tarte our target Amazon's
actually fairly expensive for their
tumblers
so I really don't want to have to go
through there if I don't have to but I
definitely want to play with as well
play with my plastic tumblers that I
have and see if I can get this stuff to
do the same thing as I'm wanting it to
do for the metal as I can do for the
plastic that is my goal I need to go and
get this stuff that goes along with it
like the flitter the epoxy and I'm going
to get the epoxy that's obviously FDA
approved my Turner should be here like I
said within like the end of this week
but also I need to get the brush I mean
there's a lot of just little things that
I need to get to make this whole thing
work because I'd like to be able to
launch that line as early as
so that's my goal it's my hope mmm to be
able to do so but is a really really
nasty nasty day it's raining hard all it
was just like you know what just go I
really don't want to take the kids out
it's to be I agree so mom I'm just gonna
go by herself and you could check and
see what I could find I did do a lot of
like pray Scout price-gouging
don't you need anybody to kiss me
no today anyways I did a lot of price
gouging yesterday and honestly Palmer is
gonna be my chiefest when it comes to
like my equipment and stuff so that's
where I'm gonna go and then I do have to
stop at Dollar Tree to get me a couple
my
what am I think email footballs I'm just
a couple because the footballs go inside
the cup and that kind of holds
everything together so that you're not
you know have to hold our cups and then
our cups the footballs and then I'll
head home after that but I got home this
afternoon and I'm looking up some
courses come on buddy
look it up some courses to the hole I
talked to you guys about it the couple a
while back it could have even been
longer but have you guys remember me
talking about thinking about going back
to school yeah and you still AM I'm on
the look for what I want to do I've done
a little bit more research watched some
YouTube channels about a couple
different
directions that I would possibly think
about going for but I am going for my
bachelor's I just don't know for sure
exactly what so we are in the process of
figuring out exactly where and what I
want to do I think I want to start with
online courses and the only reason why
is just to get back to kind of just get
back in the motion of going to school I
think that that's the most important
thing because I'm not used to school I
mean hello it's been
nineteen years almost that I've went to
school so I mean up this a long time
that I've been in school so I am having
to restart and figure it all out and but
I'm excited it's something that you know
I know that I wanted to do and if I
graduate college I will be the first to
graduate college and my entire family so
not okay hold on let me rephrase I in my
immediate family between my mom my
brother and me I will be the only one to
graduate college I don't think my father
even went to college maybe he was in the
military but he I don't think he went to
the actual college I could be completely
wrong
those are the things that I really like
I don't know specifics about like if to
not know it's fine but I will know that
I am the first to graduate college in my
little immediate family all he hit me he
carries a bachelor's granite he don't
know anything with his bachelor's degree
told him I'm like babe I mean he did in
Egypt he worked as a lawyer for a while
but it just it really wasn't what it
wasn't what he wanted to do I mean he
did it because it paid good money I mean
he was in school for over eight and a
half years so clearly you know it's it's
definitely something that he
but he did me I'm proud of him but you
know when he came to the u.s. it is you
know someone made a comment the other
day that you know I mean you have to go
back to school excited not to do it
because literally he had already Gras I
mean you attended eight and a half years
of law school for all of his schooling
to get his Bachelor bachelor's in law
then turn around and when he came here
in order to be able to take the bar here
he was gonna have to go back and do more
years of school plus you know he'd have
to pass some obviously passed the bar
here and the laws and stuff you know
they are different don't get me wrong
they are different when I said that it
you know some laws are under the same
umbrella what I meant by that is common
sense laws like certain things clearly
are pretty much around the board gonna
be obvious of the same type of laws that
one country against another country it's
gonna be I wasn't trying to say that
laws are the exact same because I know
that that's not true and I mean yeah but
if I've got certain little little
questions sure I asked olive and I mean
he'll of course he'll know the answer
for his country but it kind of gives us
an idea where to start to do our
research to figure out what it is that
we need or like I said because he did
attend some classes to figure out
exactly what all he was gonna need to do
to get his license here he met quite a
few people and so I mean
we're personal friends with a few
attorneys and lawyers you know so I mean
if we don't have the answer and we can't
figure out the answer we have people
that we can ask but you know the point
in that whole is that here he carries a
Bachelor in long he just he doesn't even
he does nothing with it so whatever you
know Bachelor I go for I wanted to be
for something that I'm gonna be able to
use in my everyday life you know and I
don't want to say that if per se is
going to be something that I want to go
back to work for you know I was in like
I don't I'm not looking for something
that's gonna take me out of the home to
work a nine to five job like that's not
what I'm looking for what I am looking
to get a bachelor's degree in is
something that I can take and utilize
with my life that I do now like for
instance okay my business my final
business you know I'm really thinking
about doing possibly going and getting
my degree in graphic design okay well
that would be totally something
that I can use in my everyday life along
with if I wanted to pick up side jobs I
could and I would have my degree to do
that but it doesn't take me 100% out of
the home to be able to succeed in that
business alongside I also were was
tipping an and M tipping my toes into
the water of medical billing and coding
that's another thing that I have really
thought about and the pay is really good
and the demand is high it's a demand you
know and that's the other thing is when
you're going to get a degree you want to
go into something that is always gonna
be you know and that's what all he was
talking to me about was you know making
sure that you know go for something
that's gonna always be there don't go
for something that technology eventually
is gonna take over because that's the
sad thing in this world is that
technology is I mean it's not a sad
thing but it is a sad thing because
technology is getting so high that it's
taking so many people's jobs away and we
don't want you know we don't want that
for something that we're going to do so
in that case I want to make sure that I
that I am finding something that I will
be able to
you know be able to do and practice and
continue to do years down rather than
have it for a you know temporary time
and then technology come in and swipe it
away from me and then it's like okay
well what was the point in all of that
you know so there's just a lot of like
things you know but like back to the
medical billing and coding you know
that's also another thing that you know
you can work from home doing that you
don't have to go into an office and you
know you you can't really I mean you can
kind of set your schedule I guess you
would say because I mean kinda but there
are dead points I mean there's there's
deadlines that you have to meet when
you're doing those type of things
there's timeframes like when you get a
certain thing in I think you have like
48 hours or something to get it turned
over or the insurance can deny the claim
so I mean you do have a time limit you
have to stick to so it is demanding but
it's not demanding and if you could do
it from home that's like a complete
game-changer because I really don't want
until my kids are a full time school I
don't want to really leave them right
now I mean I really I wouldn't leave
them right now cuz I would never put my
children into a daycare setting I'll say
anything about hello I did daycare for
24 years but I just personally don't
want to put my babies into childcare so
as they're little I want to stay at home
but I also want to do something that can
be beneficial for our family but
something that I enjoy and you know when
Plus it's gonna take a few years
it will take a few years to get my
degrees so it's just something I'm
thinking about I don't know I I'm just
so I'm tossed on it you guys help me
talk to me tell me what are some of the
things that you guys have went to
college for degrees that you went for
things that are demanding that you know
are gonna be something that you can do
you know that will be something that
it's gonna be needed for ever and not be
you know slid out after time but what
are some of the things that you guys
went to school for and when you went to
school and did you have little kids and
did were you able to successfully do
online courses and things like that like
slowly for me I'm I'm really good with
slowly like that's not ever been an
issue in the sense schooling was never
an issue for me it was made an issue for
me but I love school I love reading I
love writing I love everything aspects
about it the only thing that I struggle
massively on would be mathematics but my
husband is a walking calculator he knows
every type of math you can imagine how I
don't know but my husband does have math
down like the genius so right there I've
got you know I've got my own personal
tutor tutor that could help me with that
so you know math I'm not even scared
about that because I know that he would
help me ace those by helping teach me I
mean he would never do were for me cuz
he's not that type of person he'd be
like yep I already did my schoolwork
it's your turn Amy but it's definitely
just something that you know I'm curious
I'm
I'm curious about is what are things
that you guys have went to school for
got degrees in where those degrees
beneficial to you do you use your
degrees to this day did you do those
degrees when you had children at home
did you do online courses was it easy
how did the financial aid work grant
which grants I'm gonna be able to apply
for and I know that I can get grants I
do know that because one I have a
deceased parent I had a mother
incarcerated for over 22 years I was
ward of the state at one time so I do
know that there are things out there
that I can definitely get grants for but
I also know that most likely I would
have to get some type of a financial aid
which I'm okay with I've paid off all my
other loans from my beauty school time
so that's also not an issue but it's
just things that I'm really checking out
so if you guys can just kind of give me
which were directions you guys went I'd
appreciate it okay I'm gonna run into
say well I'm not caught in a hurricane
or anything am i oh my god you guys this
is ridiculous I am so hot but yet so
cold but yet it's so wet it is pouring
as you can see I can't even I don't even
think I was gonna work but I was in line
and I'm curious I don't think I'm gonna
see the guy it's dark out - well I'm not
dark but um
a really nice gentleman came and he just
got back from American I had a little uh
he was standing in line and he was like
oh my god I'm so tired and Yetta Yetta
Yetta and all this stuff and so he was
standing there he's like I just got back
from American Idol were like Hannah you
know just thinking he's joking or
bluffing or something he's like no you
don't believe me he pulled his phone out
he was one of the contestants that one
like he goes to the next round I was
like oh my god how exciting is so yeah
that was kind of exciting I told the
cashier guy said I should take a picture
with him flush flash him on my channel
but um yeah that was amazing that was
nice I was trying to find him but I
don't see him coming out he is so funny
though he was like I'm making me a big
pot of spaghetti because I've been
locked up in the hotel for ten days
eating hotel food he's like I am want
some cookin Oh anyways okay guys so I
don't know but I got everything I need
except for my my epoxy they don't carry
epoxy hurt at Walmart which it says they
do so I don't know but it's really cool
that's the only thing that I need
oh and well I think I have gloves at
home so other than the epoxy and my
Turner I got two tumblers so I'm gonna
have to figure out my pricing on them
they are gonna be a little bit more
higher in price I mean I am gonna say
that like they're not going to be like
my other you know tumblers but
you're paying for the quality that
you're getting and that's like the
biggest thing is that these ones are
really good so anywho
Oh three is three is there is
I do a YouTube channel so I was telling
my channel I see somebody on those from
America's Got Talent
or American Idol one of them okay
oh and yeah and I'm gonna I'm gonna tell
everybody to vote for you right what's
your name my name is the natural Melvin
Smith awesome thank you sweet so yes he
is a contestant that made it to the next
level
so now he goes to he comes home and then
he'll go back and look what I got oh my
god I feel so special that is awesome oh
I am so excited oh my gosh like this is
like a life keeper oh I gotta put this
up somewhere save I'm gonna bring that
but you guys we have to vote for him
when he comes on anyways okay now that
my excitement is over I don't want to
don't hit anybody in my excitement nope
no eating anybody um anyways but yes I
got everything I need except for like I
was saying the epoxy that is the only
thing that I need to still get and then
other than that you guys I am ready to
take on another fun thing so anyways
like I just don't know like I'm saying
like a lot like I need to stop like that
is a very annoying like but no I just I
am just torn in the sense that I just
don't know like exactly what I want to
do you know I know in my heart that I
really want to do something I just I
haven't decided what yet and you know
life is so short and I want to do
everything I can to enjoy life and to
embrace life and to do everything I can
to you know make a better future for my
children you know so that they don't see
struggling days not I mean okay hold on
let me rephrase that
not that they would never see struggling
days because I think having struggling
days is what makes you a better person
because that makes you be thankful for
things that you may not have had or you
know that you had to work hard for you
know and I don't want to be one of those
parents that hand my children everything
just because they wanted or because they
desire it or whatever it might be like
I'm not I'm not like that
you know and I'm not going to be like
that however I think at the same time I
want to make a good future for my
children and their children and their
children and so on I want to make a
great legacy for my family and I see my
husband working so hard to do the things
that he's trying to do and to make a
business work that in this time and age
right now is so hard to start a business
especially like a vehicle business car
business like what he
it's challenging it is challenging
because the economy is low and you know
life is tight and people aren't you know
thinking about new cars and you know
things like that they're thinking about
you know how what they're gonna put on
the table for the next mill and you know
what bill they're gonna pay that month
because they don't know if they're gonna
have enough and it's you know that is
struggling and you know but I see my
husband pushing forward every day and
not letting up and not giving up and not
allowing anything to get in his way
that could cause him to stumble you know
and he will not allow something you know
when he starts something he gives it a
million thousand percent before he might
say you know this isn't gonna work and
he's not even close to that with his you
know his car business but I see my
husband trying so hard and I want to be
a partner in hand with him on making the
best life that I can for us and for our
family and you know when we grow old and
you know we want to retire out
completely I want to be able to have
money to go travel with my husband and
go enjoy life because you know we're
gonna work hard until that time comes
and that's you know that's part of
living and that's part of you know just
being alive is you know having that that
whole aspect of you know you play you
know you work hard you play you play
good and but before we can play we
really got to put a lot of work first
and so I just you know I want to do
everything I can to help my husband
succeed in his business but also for my
husband and I to succeed in life for our
family and so that is just why I am so
firm about you know do I go to school
and do I get a degree you know that
might benefit us you know in time do I
go to school and do I get a degree that
would work in the field that I'm doing
right now which is you know why I chose
graphic designing is because of my vinyl
business you know there's so much
opportunity with my vinyl business but
it's like you know is that something I
want to take on right now do I have the
time to commit you know because it's
hard already to find time to commit to
things and I'm not one to only do
something partially if I'm gonna do it
you're gonna see my name written all
over because I'm proud of it not because
I'm ashamed and not not want to hold and
carry it because I'm ashamed of the lack
of what I put into it so there's just a
lot of thought about what all I want to
do but you know going around the store
today and just pricing things and buying
things that I needed and you know
getting the things that I know are going
to benefit my business it's you know
[Music]
it's just altogether just something that
I want to know that I can do and that I
can do well so I am excited I just you
know I've just got a lot of thinking and
checking and stuff like that so anyways
I am on my way home it is still nasty
and ugly as I as you seen it look like I
was walking through a hurricane it is so
windy out it is dropping rain like
measurable rain so I am going to head
home and get off of these roads because
it's getting bad and I will check in
with you guys in a little bit oli is
cooking a really interesting dinner
tonight it's called What did he say
meatloaf ish
well I thought he said oh I think I'm
gonna make meatloaf meatloaf ish and I
looked at him like say that again
and he's like meatloaf ish and I'm like
what what are you saying he's like you
know meatloaf ish I'm like you make no
sense
ish so anyways he was like but I think
that I want a videotape it so I think
that we might tape that and I'll put
that up on a separate video so you guys
can see that but it's called meatloaf
ish we shall see what ish is gonna be
anyways all right I will check it with
you guys in a little bit good evening so
yes I am closing my evening it has been
a long long long day to say the least
I am so tired so tired drained tired
um for some that messaged me yes I did
call my doctors and I do have doctor's
appointment with my gynecologist on the
18th of this month so I will keep you
guys updated although I did TMI to the
men I'm sorry but I did start my cycle
today so I don't know some of the
uncomfortable myths that I've been
feeling um could be playing a factor to
how and why I've been feeling the way
I've been feeling but it's still the
best to play it safe and just you know
go get everything checked out if need be
and so yeah so that's on the 18th um
I'm sitting here in my sweater robe okay
hold on I'll get it for you in a second
okay yeah okay go sit down and watch the
TV that you have okay anyways I am
sitting here in my sweater robe it looks
like a oh gosh what are those called
hoodies although it's not it's a sweater
and it's a rope and oh it's so cozy so I
flipped this thing on today because I -
yeah today earlier I flipped it on I
haven't wearing it all day since I've
been home from Walmart I'm like I'm
saying I was cold though it was so nasty
out and as still as you can still hear
it I although I do have my window open
so I can hear it go
so anyways I wanted to do our reading
for today um and I have was asked to
share what date that I am on remember
though we are totally off on we are
totally off on the dates because I'm not
going by the date part I'm just going
off of
the day that we're reading because I got
this a little bit after the first of
January but I think it's important and
no I have not been asked to have I
filled in any of my entries for my
journal no I have not
reason being is because I think this is
something that I want to continue to do
and I think talking to you guys is like
a verbal journal and so but if you have
the books I know a few people jumped on
Amazon and bought the book and want to
follow along with us so if you do have
the book feel free
amaur amaur go out and watch cartoons
please okay it hold on just a minute um
feel free to you know like take notes
and stuff as what we're talking about
and then sit down and and do your
journaling I think it's very important
but I do verbal journaling so I don't
technically have to sit down and write
it know because I'm talking about it on
cam so anyways um but where's my book so
yes so feel free to follow along and
like I said do your journaling in your
book I think that's very important
but because I I do voice journaling I I
don't typically fill this out and also
that way then you know at another date
if somebody really needs a book I will
definitely pass along the book to
somebody else and you know so on and so
forth so today we are reading Saturday
January 12 2019 and there is no page so
that's why I'm opting to use the date so
January 12th is the day that we're on
today I will enjoy the beauty of the
moment I'm in rather than anticipating
the next I choose to be mindful and
present let's read that one more time
today I will enjoy the beauty of the
moment I'm in rather than anticipating
the next I choose to be mindful and
present
and that is so true you know sometimes I
think as a human we we get busy with
life and you know I think so often we
are so worried about what's gonna come
next what's happening next we have to
know what's next
rather than being present in the moment
that we're in we're always anticipating
what's gonna be next and I think that
that's a great thing to take away today
is really reflecting on that and saying
hey you know stopping myself when I'm
starting to stress or I'm starting to
wonder or worry or whatever it might be
because I think as humans we all do that
and I think as humans that's part of our
our build is you know constantly
thinking what's next but we don't want
to allow that to control the moment that
were actually in though and so being
able to be mindful and being present in
that moment I think is very very very
very important but I think that so many
of us lack it because like for me I
think that I lack that because of my
childhood bring up you know I never knew
what was gonna happen next I didn't know
when I was gonna be moved to the next
home I didn't know when I was gonna have
to go to a new school and meet new
friends I didn't know when I lived with
my mom I didn't know if I was gonna have
a meal the next day or you know I didn't
know if I was gonna have you know
protection or if someone was gonna hurt
me or you know so I always anticipated
what was next because they didn't know
what was gonna happen so I could never
be mindful and I could never be present
in the moment because it was so worried
and so that just is part of my gene now
is always worrying about what is next
what's gonna happen where
we gonna be so instead of doing that how
can we stop that and say no I know
tomorrow will be okay but we are in
today and I want to be here today I want
to be present in today I don't want my
mind and my heart to already be thinking
about tomorrow am i saying it's wrong or
bad to think about the future no
absolutely not I think that's just
everybody I think we all do that you
know we think about the future and we
plan for the future because well in the
end that's what it kind of is all about
but also remembering that you need to be
present for the day that you're and and
in the moment that you're in and not
take yourself completely out of that so
that you are completely just a shell but
your emotion isn't there as well so that
speaks a lot to me because I think
that's something that I definitely
definitely struggle with a lot because
my mind goes 100 miles an hour I mean
when I go to bed at night there's nights
that I'll stay up until 3 4 5 o'clock in
the morning wondering what's going to
happen for the next few days or you know
the next couple of months or what you
know where's our layout and you know
even kind of going back and talking
about like the schooling it's you know
I'm thinking so far ahead of myself
instead of an you know being present in
the moment of what I'm searching for I'm
thinking like the long haul and and
that's just not you can't always think
like that you sometimes have to you have
to just be available to yourself at the
time that you're in not putting so much
stress on yourself to think about so
many other things because at the sad
part is you miss out on so much and I
know that I know that for my own
experiences I know that I've missed out
on so much because my mind is not here
it's clear out
clear out here so yeah definitely I
think that was a really good one to read
again if you didn't catch it it was
January 12 2019 was the D that we read
but remember because we got the book a
little bit late we're not on the dates
but that's the day that I read so
anyways you guys I am gonna close here I
need to do some editing I need to get a
couple of things done today so before
bedtime so I will check in with you guys
again
tomorrow I'm not really sure what we
have in store I don't think we have a
lot going on just because it's been so
nasty we're trying to keep the kids
inside because I really don't want them
getting sex so anyways I hope that you
guys all take care and I will check in
with you guys tomorrow bright and shiny
in the morning until then sweet dreams
you guys bye bye
